AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

So I got tired of talking about my vajayjay and "the twins" and decided to head in a new direction with this post. Fortunately, I've got new stuff to say.

I got a job.

Yes, really.

I'll be working at an established company in their Legal Department, which I've never done before. Fortunately, the duties, as they were described to me, sound right up my alley. I'm proficient in Word, familiar with Excel, can probably do various other tasks as requested (what does that MEAN?), and am darned professional-lookin' when I gussy myself up.

The beauty of this job is that it's a temporary position. Meaning, I could be employed two weeks or two months or two parsecs (I'm taking Star Wars liberties with the latter word being used to describe time instead of distance). Anyway, I got a call today from the HR person to whom I'd sent my résumé a couple of weeks ago. She asked if I'd be interested in temping for them. Which is the same company DH works for. And they'd pay me a whopping amount of money per hour.

Uh, yeah, I think I can handle that.

Starting tomorrow.

[gulp]

I'm still going to be able to take off for my mammogram on Monday, too.

I'm excited and very nervous at the same time. It's cool that hubby and I will be able to make use of Houston's HOV lane, thus bypassing all the poor drivers on the main lanes. We should be able to get to work and home in near-record time. Hubby's mom even volunteered to come over and meet the kids' school buses every day - which was a load off my shoulders, let me tell you.

On the other hand, I'm nervous as hell about how I'll do in a business environment after all these years.

Tomorrow's the big day, so I'd better get off here and decide what to wear. The attire is "business formal," which in plain English means "pantyhose required."

Oh crud, do I even have any pantyhose?

Wish me luck!

PAPS ARE JUST AS MUCH FUN AS I REMEMBERED

Today I went for the first female checkup I've had since Clinton was in office. Fortunately, my doctor is the nicest person ever to scrape my cervix.

Dr. M did not judge me for waiting so long between appointments, which I really appreciated. Her comment was, "you're here now; that's what's important." She apologized for having cold hands during my breast exam, then again for taking 20 seconds to finish the pap smear and HPV test. Doc, I completely forgive you.

The urinalysis results showed that I have an infection, about which I was completely unaware. Therefore, I have a prescription to fill for antibiotics. Whee, orange pee, here I come.

The tactile breast exam showed two lumps in my left breast, and one in my right. The doctor said she's truly not concerned, yet she scheduled me for a mammogram next Monday. Now, I'm pushing 40, so I was going to have a baseline done this year anyway, but on the order form for the mammogram, she didn't check the "routine screening/asymptomatic" box. Instead, the scarier "diagnostic imaging/consultation" box is checked. She also asks, under "Additional Services," for a "breast ultrasound" of both breasts.

What freaks me out the most is that she drew in little masses on the preprinted breast diagram. Yep, two on the left; one on the right. Check.

After my exam, I was sent in for bloodwork. I had a feeling they'd go ahead and order blood screens today, so in preparation, I did not eat beforehand. In fact, I hadn't eaten since 6:30 last night, so by this time (11:15ish a.m.) I was feeling kinda weak. Somehow, the blood draw didn't seem to help that feeling.

I stopped for a baked potato on the way home because I was starving, but when I got here, I was only able to finish half of it. I'm actually feeling sick right now, and I've got a mother of a headache brewing. I can't get comfortable, which is really frustrating.

On the up side, I've lost six pounds since the last time I saw Dr. M. She made my day by saying, "yeah, like you needed to lose weight." Told you she was sweet.

THANKS

- To Katie, whose blog post made me list my own confessions, including the one in which I admitted that I'm years overdue for a pap.

- To Pez, for persuading me to schedule an appointment.

- To hubby, for taking the new job with the rockin' insurance and low co-pays.

- To my favorite doctor, for being available tomorrow morning at 10:10 a.m.

- To me, for finally taking care of myself. It's about time.

CONFESSION IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, RIGHT?

Katie may or may not be a good influence. No matter; today I am copying her blogging idea - confessions. None of these are earth-shattering, but they do impact my tiny little world. And here we go...

• I wear my jeans for a long time between washings. We're talking weeks here - possibly a couple of months. If they get visibly dirty, I toss them into the laundry; otherwise, I just toss them over the box fan that's sitting in my closet and call it all good.
• My closet is huge, and also messy. The aforementioned box fan is not plugged in nor useful. It's purpose is apparently to serve as a small horizontal surface that I can put crap on top of. I have an old stereo in there that serves the same purpose.
• My kiddos, save K, do not shower every day. They're all capable of doing it all by themselves, but I hardly ever think about it in time to remind them before bed, so they don't. Twice a week is pretty good around here. K, who hit puberty last year and apparently discovered that teenagers sweat and thus stink, showers every single night. Pey and Ry aren't far behind him in age, so I figure they'll start showering regularly soon enough.
• It's been like six years since I've visited the dentist. Fortunately, I seem to have naturally good teeth. (Hope I didn't just jinx myself there.)
• It has been much MUCH too long since I've had a female exam. I am deeply ashamed, and promise to make an appointment soon, sis.
• My kids are old enough to make their own lunches, clip their own fingernails, and do know our address, so I can't make those claims. Anymore. heh
• I throw out my kids' schoolwork and artwork all the time. Not everything; but definitely most things. Apparently I also feel guilty about it because I still wait until the kids aren't home to start purging - and then I top the artwork with used coffee filters or waffle boxes or some other non-transparent item so that they don't notice.
• I hate doing laundry with a passion. I mean, you won't find another person on this planet who hates it more than I do. Thursday night, Ry told me he had no jeans to wear the next day. So I pulled out a couple of pairs of jeans for each kid (from the enormous mound of laundry sitting three feet from the washing machine) and did a load of jeans. Friday, K said he had no more underwear. This time, I started a whole load, but when it came time for K's shower, I just pulled out two pairs of clean underwear from the washer and tossed them into the dryer with the aforementioned jeans...Oh man, please tell me I'm not the only one who's done that.

127

That's the number of scrapbook pages I completed at last weekend's crop. That sounds like a lot, and it is, but believe it or not it only got me up to May 2006. I'm still behind (like 400+pictures-behind), but this is the most caught up I've ever been. I even won a prize for Most Completed Pages. Alert the Pulitzer committee.

8.5

That's the number of hours sleep I got last weekend, divided up thusly: 3.5 hours Friday night (Saturday morning, actually); 5 hours Saturday night (Sunday, actually). I took five meal breaks at approximately 12 minutes each (the food was catered, so there was no prep/cleanup time involved; thank you, paid help). I left the hall for about 20 minutes Saturday afternoon to take a shower because I was feeling crop-grungy, then I left once more for 35 minutes to drive home and get some warmer clothes and socks.

2135

The number of minutes I cropped over the weekend. That's a lot of minutes, and it works out to what, about 35 hours? Daaaaang.

5

The number of hours I'm going to work on scrapbooks tonight. My friend, a Creative Memories consultant who set up last weekend's crop, is apparently a glutton for punishment. She's hosting a five-hour gathering at her house tonight, and I am apparently insane because I'm looking forward to it.

2.25

The number hours until Pey's Brownie troop gets here for our monthly meeting. Up until 8:15 last night, I had no idea what we'd do at today's meeting, but then another leader mentioned a Valentine's Day party. No working toward a patch or anything otherwise formal; just fun. Sounds perfect to me. Maybe I can catch a nap while they decorate cards...

195

That's how many pictures I finally uploaded to Snapfish from my digital camera. (How sad is that.) I am having them printed and shipped to me, and am hoping that they'll arrive before Friday, which is when I leave for my scrapbooking weekend. I've gotten emails that the order has been completed already, so hopefully the postal service will get them to my mailbox quickly.

In other news, I am seriously considering applying for a job opening that just popped up. I am actually excited at the prospect of going back to work, believe it or not. The kids are older now, and I recently realized that my days are spent doing absolutely nothing except hanging around the house in between school bus departures and arrivals. I mean, I do the laundry and such, but for the most part, I do ... well, not much. It's not that I don't want to do more; I just have little motivation. That is completely and totally a personal problem, I know; but it doesn't change the fact that I'm not exactly overwhelmed with my life right now.

I think the best thing to do first is hit my knees and pray about this. In my heart and gut it feels very right, but checking in with the big guy is always a good idea, too.

CROP!

Kimmer, I just read your blog and wanted to let you know that I feel ya on the scrapbooking - I'm going to a crop this weekend, and I can't wait! I leave Friday afternoon and don't come home until Sunday afternoon. Meals and lodging all included. Of course, the best part is hanging out with other moms like me. Wait, that's not right. The best part is someone cooking and cleaning for ME! lol

I try to do a weekend crop once or twice a year. It helps me make significant progress on my scrapbooks, but more than that, it helps me recharge my batteries. It's nice to not have to worry about anyone else for a couple of days. And I think hubby enjoys the "pass" it gives him to just hang out with the kids and not do anything productive for awhile. He works hard, and definitely deserves downtime.

It sounds weird to say that hubby's spending a weekend alone with the kids is "downtime." But our kids are old enough now (13, 10, 9) that they're not as much effort to take care of as they once were. That's nice in SO many ways...but I'll admit that sometimes I do miss their babyness.

Which brings me back to the crop. I can enjoy their cute little faces in photographs all weekend! :)

WASSUP?

Nothing earth-shattering going on here, but I thought I should update anyway.
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Had lunch with my aunt last Friday. I only see her about twice a year, which is silly because we live in the same town and she works about ten minutes from my house. Anyway, it was great to visit with her, and I am looking forward to seeing her again before six more months pass by!
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Saturday afternoon I got a call from my soon-to-be-ex sister-in-law. She told me that she was bringing my nephew for a visit in March, and asked if they could stay with us for a couple of days. Needless to say, I am thrilled! I couldn't be happier that she still feels comfortable enough with our family to drive six hours for a visit. Yay!
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Last week sometime, I signed up with SparkPeople. It's a fantastic track-your-progress health and fitness site. You can keep track of what you eat, print healthy recipes, and even watch exercise videos right on your computer. I love it, and best of all, it's free. (I receive no kickbacks for referrals, y'all.)
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Sunday morning I made my weekly run to the grocery store. I bought:

Post Honey Bunches of Oats
Post Honey Bunches of Oats w/Almonds
1 lb. fresh green beans
1 head cabbage
1 large eggplant
Blue Diamond walnuts
Bottle of Propel water (free!)
Ragu spaghetti sauce
Quart of half & half
2 Blistex lip treatment (free!)
Large canister of Kroger oatmeal
2 The Works bathroom cleaner
2 Diet Big Red 2-liters
Dozen large eggs
2 boxes Nabisco whole grain Wheat Thins
2 boxes reduced-fat Ritz crackers
Fresh baby bella mushrooms
Kraft 3-cheese Crumbles
4 cans Grands biscuits
3 pkgs Philly reduced-fat cream cheese
4-pack Dannon low-carb yogurt
5 packages Totino's Pizza Rolls (all free!)
2 packs Birds Eye frozen green beans w/almonds
3 lbs ground beef
2 Glade Wisp starter kits
2 Glade Wisp refills
4 Glade aerosol room fresheners
Suave deodorant (free!)
4 Reach Max Fresh toothbrushes

Before card & coupons: $132.34
I paid: $49.49
Savings: $82.85

I also have $10 in Kroger Kash toward my next grocery trip - the Glade Wisp kits and refills trigger $3.00 and $2.00 coupons (respectively) instantly. Kroger also has a Kraft special going on - if you buy 8 specified products, it automatically deducts $7.00 off your bill at checkout. For this trip, my Kraft items were: the cheese crumbles, the 3 packs of cream cheese, the two Ritz crackers, and the two Wheat Thins.

Next trip, I'm already $15 richer - I've got a $5-off coupon from the Entertainment book for February, plus the $10 from this trip for the Glade products.

I love grocery shopping. And I just realized what a total nerd I am. Thank you, Grocery Game!

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP

Excerpts from emails about MIL's brain tumor. Yay!

Neurosurgeon confirmed what the E.R. neurosurgeon told us which is, as far tumors go, this is a very mild one. He is almost positive that it's benign, slow growing and may have been there up to 20 or 30 years(!). It's growing down from the cerebellum into a cavity and is about 1 1/2 inches long but because it is not pushing on anything in the brain, it does not have "roots" that are attaching to any parts of the brain. It does not appear aggressive, and Mom passed her neurological exam with flying colors (absent shakiness on walking the "drunk driving test" walk), so the doctor does not think it should be removed at this time.

He felt very strongly that her blood pressure problems and tremors (which are like shivers or jerks from a chill) are not caused by the tumor based on the area of the brain it's in and his experience with this type of tumor. He recommended coming back in 4 to 6 months for another MRI and would be very surprised if the tumor grew. If it grows or she starts having poorer neurological indications, he would recommend surgery and felt it would be a very straight forward surgery - this is not something he would recommend for radiation, as that is usually for malignant tumors. He suggested going to a neurologist to look into her shivers.

We are of course very pleased to hear the good news we were hoping for, no brain surgery! - though since Mom has not felt well, we were hoping to find a solution to all her ails by removing the tumor - her shivers kept her up all last night and are tiring physically (she can't sleep and it hurts to jerk around). It is possible that her lightheadeness is also caused by her blood pressure problems, which may be exacerbating her general well-being. She is going to work with her internal doctor on her BP.

Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers - we are very grateful indeed! We are still a little nervous about her symptoms as they have been interfering with her enjoying life these past week so we hope that the neurologist can put our minds at ease.

We feel very assured that her tumor is not life-threatening (having seen it on the MRI, it is not touching anything else in the brain, it's not touching the brain stem) and she can live a long time with it. While I got the prayer train going, please pray that we do get to the bottom of the cause of her shivers and high blood pressure and open up the path to the right doctor to treat them.

JUST AS MUCH FUN AS I REMEMBERED

I have not bowled in two years, and it showed last night when hubby and I went to the lanes. I didn't do as awful as I thought I would - first game I bowled 112; second game I bowled 124. Only regret is that I didn't take my own ball (yes, I own my own personalized bowling ball - I'm a Texan, sue me!). The balls at the lanes were either too heavy or the finger holes were too small.

But it was SO much fun! Now I'm jonesin' to join a league. And hey, even if I don't play all that well, I figure I can still enjoy the awesome french fries that every bowling lane in America serves. Yum.

ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN'

Y'all, I'm so excited - tonight I'm going bowling for the first time in ages! Hubby's co-workers are having a get-together after work today, and we signed up to bowl on a team. I was a little nervous at first about bowling on a team of people I hardly know, but then I thought, whatever. I'm a decent bowler, so hopefully I won't embarrass hubby too much.

Yesterday's lunch with Fish was so nice. We went to Cracker Barrel - yum. We were there for over an hour and a half just talking about stuff. Let's see, we covered family issues, The Grocery Game, and, of course, Steve. (By the way, Fish, I couldn't find downloadable music on www.steveburnsrocks.us, although I did see some of my very own famous pictures posted there, lol.)

We could have talked for hours more, but the place was getting quite busy and our waitress, while polite, definitely wanted the table freed up. My lovely dining companion bought lunch, and I felt like a cheapskate because I only left the tip. It was a good tip, though, so hopefully our waitress was happy. Next time, though, lunch is on me.

This morning I watched "Walk The Line," which was a pretty good movie. In my humble opinion, Joaquin Phoenix totally overacted, but Reese did well. Good on ya, Ms. Witherspoon. Last night we watched "The Interpreter," which I thought was okay because it was for the most part not predictable. I hate predictable movies.

T & J are coming over later to babysit the kiddos while hubby and I bowl, so I need to get the house straightened up a bit. Also, tomorrow afternoon we're hosting the annual "my side of the family" Christmas, which is just another incentive for me to drag out my Dyson.

Yeah, like I need incentive for that.

IT'S MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY
(By the way, I'm not talking about my mother-in-law, about whom I've been posting the past few days.)

Mom would have been sixty years old today. After lunch (which I'm having with Fish today), I plan to stop by the cemetery. It's very cold and rainy here today, though, so maybe I'll wait until tomorrow so that the flowers I bring have a chance of survival.

Happy birthday, Mom. I hope today brings you chocolate cake and tons of purple roses in heaven.

I can't believe that this is the 9th year we'll celebrate your birthday without you. I miss you.

CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC

Mom got a CAT scan while in the ER last night. The on-call neurosurgeon read the CAT scan, then he read the MRI results she had brought with her to the hospital. He says the tumor is almost definitely benign, has probably been there for about 10 years (based on the calcification of the tumor), and is very slow growing. He agrees it's most likely ependymoma. Based on where it's located, the area that affects coordination and involuntary movements, the tumor may be affecting her movements and may be causing myoclonic seizures, which are rare with a tumor but do happen - especially if your cerrebullum is particularly sensitive. He gave her some seizure medicine that he believes will work.

The good news is that as far as brain tumors goes, this is very small, most likely benign, very slow growing, and should be fairly easy to operate on. We were VERY encouraged hearing all this about the tumor but we are worried about her crazy blood pressure.

My SIL got home from the hospital at 1:00 a.m. They kept Mom because her blood pressure was very high - it went up to 170/100 over the previous reading of 162/111. Her face was puffy and she wasn't feeling well, but after they gave her a diuretic and some other meds, she started feeling a lot better.

They can't figure out why her blood pressure is doing what it's doing - the doctor was perplexed (never, ever a good sign) and said he's only seen it do that when someone was on steroid treatments or chemo. She was also still having minor twitches.

She was discharged from the hospital at 6:15 this morning - almost 16 hours after she got there. The main reason for the extended stay was because of her high blood pressure. They were afraid she might have a stroke and wouldn’t discharge her, and rightly so. It remained high every hour they checked. They wanted it below 140, so they eventually gave Mom some pills for her blood pressure and it dropped very low. In fact, she actually read a systolic 55 at one time. Of course, she was very groggy and they weren’t going to discharge her at that point, either.

The nurse later said it could potentially be that the part of the brain controlling blood pressure was affected by the tumor. Her blood pressure has been fluctuating greatly and was the highest it has ever been when she was having the tremors* caused by the tumor. After the blood pressure medicine wore off, and she had some coffee and walked around, her bp reached up to over 100 and they let her go.

She and Dad are extremely tired today, and on top of that, Mom's trying to adjust to her new meds. Next Monday is her official appointment with the neurosurgeon, at which time we'll hopefully learn beyond a shadow of a doubt that the tumor is benign. That's what we're all praying the hardest for.
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*Tremors. That's what they're calling the episodes she was having yesterday. That term sounds a whole lot less scary than "seizures" or "convulsions."

UPDATE FROM EARLIER POST (below)

3:37 p.m. - Mom's been admitted to the hospital. Right now she's on an IV and is scheduled for a CAT scan. Kudos to Houston's Medical Center - they took good care of Tnk last year, and it seems they're on the ball this time, too.

I'M SCARED

This post is partially borrowed from a few emails I've received from my sister-in-law today.
---
Mom started having convulsions around 5 a.m. this morning, and finally stopped around 10:30. Dad is with her and called the hospital at which her appointment is set for next week. They told him they couldn't do anything since she's not yet a patient with them and if he thinks it's an emergency to take her to an emergency room. (This was the same less-than-helpful woman Mom spoke with last week.) She couldn't even give Dad any idea as to what to look out for to determine whether she should go to an emergency room. Very compassionate advice.

My sister-in-law has e-mailed the neurologist we had contact with - perhaps he can tell us what to do. Other than that, MD Anderson does have an emergency room that we can camp out in and be pushy if the seizures start up again and worsen.

Mom and Dad don't think it's "serious" (OMG!!!!) and that it's just another symptom, and they are trying not to be concerned. Dad is also calling her GP to see if he has any advice.
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Update from the aforementioned neurosurgeon...

This is obviously an emergency, although seizures are very unusual for posterior fossa tumors. I would be concerned that she was developing obstructive hydrocephalus from the tumor. She should go to an emergency room, probably Hermann or MD Anderson in the medical center. Bring her MRI films so they can be compared to any new films. If these are seizures, she should begin taking an anticonvulsant.
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Hubby just called with a new update: Mom's now being taken to the ER. Please keep her in your prayers.


And thus the title of this post. :(

POSTPONEMENT

Mom's appointment with the neurosurgeon is going to be on the 22nd. She was unable to get in to see the other doctor last Friday, as she had a previously-set appointment with yet another neuro for the 29th. The not-so-nice appointment booker said something about repetition...I don't know. Anyway, since they'd promised her she'd be seen last Friday and then reneged, they bumped her up a week to make up for it.

I will most likely be taking Mom to the appointment, which I am honestly dreading. Don't get me wrong - I'm extremely grateful that she's letting me help her - but I am deathly afraid of what we will hear.

We saw Mom today, and she said she was having a very good day. No dizziness or headaches. She was happy we came over, and loved on the kids as much as they'd let her. I think they'll be more receptive to all the hugs when we tell them what's going on. Which won't be until after the doctor's appointment on the 22nd.

I just realized that I'm more afraid of telling the kids than I am of hearing what the doctor has to say.

THANKS, PEZ AND FISH...AND AN UPDATE ON MIL

Pez, your comment on my last blog entry made a lot of sense. I'm usually the one of the siblings who physically jumps in to help everyone, and I guess I never realized that I do the same thing emotionally, as well. Hugs to you, as you do seem to know how I feel.

Fish, I've pencilled you in. For sure. Please do call.
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Hubby's mom: She will be receiving much-needed "expedited treatment" (my SIL's words) at the best hospital in Houston through two avenues: one, the chairman of hubby and SIL's company*, who sits on said hospital's board, and two, SIL's friend's Dad, a physician who has been very open and generous in talking to the family - a nice change from the very loud silence of Mom's original (and fired) doctor!

The physician agrees with the report that the tumor is an ependymoma tumor and that Mom will, therefore, need a cranial surgeon. He spoke with a cranial surgeon at the above-mentioned hospital, who is also the head of neurosurgery, and he said he can get her in this Friday. Thank God for that, because after Mom told him her symptoms (she is not feeling well today; has been hearing loud ringing and her balance is off), he said she needs to get in immediately. The report also indicated the tumor may have calcification, which he said generally indicates a benign tumor, which is encouraging. However, you are not in the clear just because it's benign - if the tumor has grown into a delicate area of the brain, it can be just as bad.

Please pray that the surgeon is able to get her in this Friday, that he correctly diagnoses her, and that he provides the best treatment plan for her. Please also pray that her tumor backs off for a bit so that she is able to make it in before it's too late. Feel free to add more prayers too!
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*Hubby and SIL both work at the same place; I don't know if I've mentioned that before. They both started there last October.

I HAVE THE PERFECT SHIRT

It's a brand-new-with-tags, greenish-brown, ugly as sin, oversized t-shirt. On the front is a picture of Charlie Brown and the words "Sick and tired of everything." I bought it last March during all the family bullshit following Tnk's accident. I've never worn it, but that's about to change.

You all know about all the stuff that's going on in my family right now. Yesterday I told my sdad and one sister about my brother's impending divorce. I then called Tnk to let her know so that she wouldn't feel out of the loop, so to speak. She responded with a gruff "well, that's too bad, but I'm not surprised" and other things that we've all been thinking but have not voiced.

Today she called and said she was sorry she couldn't talk yesterday, but there were people around. I told her that I understood, and that I just wanted to let her know what was going on, as communication has been a big problem in our family in the past, and I am really trying to keep things open. She proceeds to gripe about our brother not calling her and her not having his cell phone number. "I have never had his cell phone number!" was one comment - and one which I seriously doubt, by the way. I told her I could email it to her if she wanted, but that I don't know it by heart. Which is true, because with my new cell phone I just press Talk and say "Brother" and it dials him (I may never know anyone's number again, heh). She responded that it didn't matter because they never talk anyway.

Then she starts asking me questions about his kids and visitation and such. I told her that I didn't think that was going to be a problem as the divorce seems amicable, but that I don't honestly remember all the details because this past week has been a very emotional one and I didn't retain much of the conversation. I said, "You know, this has been a very bad year so far. I guess I just didn't and don't want to hear about anything bad for awhile."

I can't believe she responded with a short, "Well, bad things are going to continue to happen! You'll just have to ... "

I cut her off with "okaaaay, I'm sorry, but I just can't continue this way. So much has happened...right now all I really want to hear are positive things and optimistic views."

She said fine and hung up. That surprised the heck out of me. It would have been more like her to say that she was sorry and that things were going to be okay. Even if she was lying, that would have been better than what she did. I didn't think I could be even more down than I have been, but she made that happen.

Thanks, Tnk. You just inspired me to expand my wardrobe... :(

EDIT: She just emailed me and said "Umm...All I was trying to say was: I guarantee there will be more bad things, but we're tough and we'll handle them." That makes sense, and I know she's right, but sometimes all you want is sympathy, you know? Because I sure don't feel tough right now.

TODAY WE SHOULD KNOW MORE

MIL sent a long email to her primary doctor last Friday. In it, she told him that she'd gotten two recommendations for neurologists and asked him to contact her about submitting referrals. She said, "I know that Mondays are busy for you, so I won't expect a call first thing. If I don't hear from you by lunchtime, I'll contact you."

Wow, does this woman have patience. I am not sure I'd be so nice were I in her shoes. He's already blown her off once; there should be no second chance. How can you tell someone they've got a brain tumor and then ignore them for three days?

Good grief.

Thanks for all your prayers and support. They mean the world to our family.

TONIGHT I'M GONNA GET DRUNK. WHO'S WITH ME?

Well, despite my optimism about 2007 being better than 2006, this year - all six days of it so far - are in the crapper.

Thursday we find out that my mother-in-law has a brain tumor. I SO cannot tell the kids, but with all the skirting the subject that's been going on around here, they're bound to be suspicious by now. Top that off with this: her doctor not only didn't set up her appointment with the neurosurgeon, (as he'd promised he'd immediately do); he didn't even bother to let her know he didn't do it. In the words of my sister-in-law, "he's SO fired!"

Friday, the day after we found out about MIL's tumor, the aforementioned sister-in-law's husband got laid off from work. While he was on a business trip in San Francisco. Before he even got back to Texas. His company let him close two business deals - then fired him the same day. Asswipes.

Today I called my brother in Oklahoma to see how he and the wife and kids were doing. He informed me that he had a new address. Of his very own. I can't believe it...he's getting a divorce. The funny thing is, we always told him that if he ever left his wife, we'd keep her. But now that it's a reality, I just hope we can keep all of them.

Man, this sucks. This, 2007, was going to be the GOOD year. I just knew that nothing could top last year for general suckitude, but these first six days have been a bitch.

I'm off to make the title a reality.

SOMETHING ON HER MIND

I got an email yesterday from my mom-in-law, which said:

"I don’t know if you know that I have been having problems with dizziness and sometimes have a ringing in my head. I went to the doctor yesterday and my blood pressure was very high. So today I had an MRI—it was hard to lie there that long without moving! I quoted Scripture and had to start over because it took so long. Of course my whole body would itch and I could not scratch. All in all not bad though. I am to go in tomorrow to find out the results."

High blood pressure is not uncommon for her, but the MRI worried me. Today my brother-in-law and I (the in-laws referred to below) received this email:

"I tried to call you, but you did not answer so I thought I would email you. I am doing a rotten trick on the in-laws—I just got back from hearing the results of the MRI that I had yesterday, and hate to tell M [dh] and A [my sil] how it is over the phone so I am going to make you guys break the news. I have a tumor in the back of my head. It is in the part of my head that can affect my balance. They are not certain if it is benign or not; it could go either way. There was something the radiologist did not like about it, but the doctor did not have the full report yet. He is making an appointment for me, hopefully next week, to get more insight. [Several years ago] my sister had a tumor in the back of her head and it was benign so I am hopeful this is too. I get a little weepy when I talk about it, but I really am not upset about it or scared. I feel fairly peaceful. I know God is in control of my life and He will work everything out for the good of all.
Sorry to put this burden on you, but think it is best."

Long story short, mom has a brain tumor. Hubby and I have decided not to say anything to the kids yet, as we don't know anything definite and don't want them to worry. What I *do* know is that I'll be awake half the night alternating between tears and prayers. Dear Lord, please watch over mom. I ... don't know what else to say. Amen.

I GOT A NEW TOY

Ever since hubby's new employer supplied him with a Blackberry of his very own (going on three months now), I've been saying that I was going to downgrade our cellular service. No need to pay for an extra phone and minutes you don't use, right? Well, today was the big day! I decided to go with Sprint because they have a family plan wherein you can call other Sprint customers for free. The vast majority of my family uses Sprint, so with all that "free" time, I was able to get the cheapest plan with the fewest minutes, saving us somewhere around 40 bucks a month.

My new phone is very cool, if I do say so myself. First of all, it was free - no mail-in rebate or anything. Can't beat that. It has voice dialing, which I didn't have before and will be using constantly until the novelty wears off, lol. It's a flip phone, which I like because I've never had a phone that could cover up the number pad and I was always accidentally dialing someone. Yes, I knew how to lock the keys, but I didn't always remember to do so.

But my very favorite feature of my new phone? It rings. It doesn't play "SexyBack" or "Doncha" or "Copacabana" (although it could). It just rings, kinda like old-timey non-portable phones used to. One ringey-dingey...two ringey-dingey. Whee!

Tomorrow's plan: contacting Vonage or Skype to cut down on our landline costs. Anyone use either of those (Pez?)? Suggestions would be welcomed. And thanks in advance!

TO HELLOS, GOODBYES, AND FRIENDS MADE IN BETWEEN

First, let's bid a fond farewell to 2006. In particular, farewell to last March:

1. Farewell to K's broken ulna and the painful surgery and recuperation that ensued.
2. Farewell to the drunk driver who nearly killed my sister, and who is currently behind bars for the next seven years.
3. Farewell to half-forgotten birthdays; Ry, I think we owe you a do-over of your 10th birthday. I'm so sorry, son.
4. Farewell to toxic family members. Forever.
5. Farewell to family trauma, and here's to the ever-growing maturity level in this family.
6. Farewell to losing beloved family members and those who just felt like family, too.
7. Farewell to hubby's old job and the crappy way in which they laid people off just.like.that.

And with that, I hereby bury last March.

In 2007, I hereby resolve to:

1. Be less critical.
2. Write a book, or at least a short story, about my childhood experiences. It doesn't have to be published, but it needs to be said.
3. Eat at least five salads a week.
4. Clean out the garage.
5. Clean out my closet.
6. Have a garage sale.
7. Stay current on the laundry.
8. Play at least one game a week with the kids.
9. Get a passport.
10. Take a family vacation.
11. Accomplish something just for me.
12. Help hubby accomplish something just for him.
13. Make more resolutions as I see fit.

The one I'm most likely to break is number seven. I'm already pitifully behind. Maybe number 14 should be "Teach the kids to do their own laundry." Ooh, yeah, I like that one!

ORTHOPEDICS, REVISITED

Yesterday I took K to the surgeon (Dr. J; but not the hoopster) who'd repaired his ulna earlier this year. X-rays were taken, and the doctor said that more surgery would be necessary in order to remove the steel plate from K's arm.

K is not happy.

Had he been 15 years old instead of 12 when he broke his arm, the plate could just stay put. But the doctor said that the textbook recommends prepubescent kids with screws and plates have them removed before the growing process is complete. Dr. J went on to tease K about having to buy shirts with one long arm and one short arm.

Fortunately, since hubby changed jobs, we seem to have better insurance now. The deductible is half of what it used to be, the insurance company will pay 90% instead of 80% this time, and the office visits are $15 instead of $30. Hopefully this will all add up to a cheaper surgery - the last one really knocked us for a loop.

The scheduler will be calling on Tuesday to set up a time for the second operation. Hey, why does K suddenly feel like my baby instead of my teenager...?

THAT WAS FAST

I can't believe how quickly the holiday season passed. I started decorating early this year on purpose, so that the festivities would (seemingly) last longer. I guess it's true that the older you get, the faster time flies.

Christmas was great. I received lots of excellent gifts, but was even happier to see the recipients of my gifts open theirs. Hubby's big gift from me this year was a collection of our family movies on DVD. I've spent the last two months at T & J's house transferring them all from VHS - and not a moment too soon, from the sad shape of some of those tapes. It has been a long process, and we're only halfway done! Eight years down; eight years to go. In other words, I'll be spending lots of time at T & J's house in early 2007, too.

As for me, I received the following:

From K - Phase 10 Anniversary Edition, at my request
From Ry - tall vanilla-scented candle, which I always welcome
From Pey - a sweater cap and gloves/mittens (they have a flap that opens up so that the tips of your fingers are exposed, in case you need to grip something; or the flap can stay closed in warm-mitten fashion), which I'd actually requested from Ry...boy was he disappointed. Pey got to go shopping with Daddy first. Poor Ry.

From DH - Two beautiful, soft sweaters; a large cake carrier; scrapbooking die-cuts; an adapter so I can play my IPod in the car (WAY cool); a purse; socks; pajamas; a pair of sexy panties, which he threw in with the pj's, lol.

From SIL and BIL (and partially MIL and FIL, too) - tickets to see "Spamalot" next June.

From MIL and FIL - A silver serving fork, which was labeled "To Pley and DH," so I have to share. And a funky purse which I call my wooly mammoth, as it really does look like someone went back in time, skinned a wooly mammoth, and made a purse out of him. I like it because it's different and roomy, but by spring I'll be switching over to the purse DH got me. Somehow wooly things don't really go with sunny weather. Maybe it's just me.
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Now for something totally different. This is from Fishie's blog: Today's assignment: make a list of what people you may have to buy for next year. Then jot down what they received this year. It may help jog your memory next fall. Or it will give you a direction to go in. Get ten names down on paper and some things they received or spoke about wanting. We can do that much!

Here we go:

DH - family videos to DVD; portable DVD player; new DVD player (notice a theme here?)
K - IPod Shuffle; MP3 speaker/pillow; guitar tab paper; guitar picks
RY - IPod Shuffle; Star Wars "Build Your Own Lightsaber" kit
PEY - IPod Shuffle; FLYpen computer
SIL - plush robe; BBW soaps and lotions
BIL - egg separator (SO gross, but SO funny - check it out here)
MIL - bracelet; History of Christianity book
FIL - flashlights; Maps of the Civil War book
J - BBW pedicure kit
T - Tootsie Rolls; homemade white chocolate fudge
TNK - goodie bag: magazines, BBW lotions and soaps; other health & beauty items
EMTsis - see TNK
ECS - magnetized memo board for her room

Thanks, Fish, for getting me on track. Now I'll know next year that FIL doesn't need any more flashlights. I'm sure that's getting old. :)

LIGHT OF THE WORLD

Tonight we went out to dinner with the in-laws, as is our tradition. We'd called ahead to make sure that the restaurant, Los Compadres, would be open. They told us they'd be open until 7:00 p.m.

We got there just after 5:00. As it turns out, we were the only ones in the entire place. For once, our table for seven had plenty of leg room. We were there for about an hour, ate our wonderful dinner, then paid and left at 6:00. As we walked out, the restaurant - which still had no other diners - turned out the lights and closed up an hour early.

Merry Christmas, Los Compadres, and thank you for the delicious tamales.

After dinner, we went to church for the Christmas Eve service. Our church is in transition, meaning the old building has been sold and we're waiting for the new construction to be completed. So in the meantime, the entire church is meeting in a local junior high school. The.place.was.packed. There were at least two hundred people in this service (the church had had another service prior to this one). The majority of the service was singing, which is my hands-down favorite part of church at Christmas, so I enjoyed myself very much.

The only drawback to the service was that we weren't allowed to use candles this year. Typically, everyone holds a small candle and we pass the flame from person to person. But the school district does not allow open flames on its campuses, so our pastor came up with a rather ingenious (and kind of weird) solution: glow sticks. Everyone took a glow stick from the basket, and we all cracked them at the same time. You'd think, as I did, that this would be cheesy, but somehow it worked. All the congregants' faces were lit by a soft glow, and really, it didn't matter that the light did not come from a flame.

Oh Holy Night. Happy Birthday, Jesus. You ARE the reason for the season. Amen.

FRIDAY

I am never, ever going to finish wrapping presents.

It would help if I were not such a procrastinator, but that's not gonna change anytime soon. (Heh, I crack myself up.) As I said before, though, I *am* a successful procrastinator, so I guess I bring it all on myself.

The kids and I spent the day lazing around and watching movies. Today's fare: "The Wild" (an animated flick) and "The Pacifier." The latter starred Vin Diesel, whom I'm not typically a fan of, but this movie really wasn't that bad. It was a tad predictable, but I have to admit that I didn't see everything coming. Vin's commanding officer in the movie? He, I knew from the start, had ulterior motives. Oh, and watching Brad Garrett play a jerkwad who eventually gets his butt kicked was just FUN to watch. Hee!

Last night the family watched "Superman Returns." Again, not a bad flick. Ry kept saying "COOL!" at all the special effects, so I guess kids would give it a thumbs-up. The scene where Superman lands the plane on the baseball field was neat. Okay, it was more than that. Ry was right - COOL!

I also caught up on six days worth of Rachael Ray which I've been DVRing. I love having the option to fast-forward the show, as some of the celebrity guests are SO obviously there to push their latest charity, and not actually there to visit with Rachael. Wow, I guess I have a soft spot for her after all.

Looks like I watched a boatload of TV today. And now I sit here blogging. Wonder why those gifts aren't wrapped yet?

THURSDAY

Today the kids and I went back to T & J's because Pey had left her Christmas gift from them at their house. That, and I had gifts for them that I needed to deliver because they're leaving town in a few days and I may not see them again before Christmas. That, and I just enjoy spending time with them because I haven't always had - nor will I always have - that opportunity.

This was brought home to me this morning while we were driving to their house. Sara MacLachlan's song "Angel" came on the radio, and I just about lost it. That song was released the year my mom died, and it always makes me think about her. Particularly the part where it says, "You're in the arms of the angel...may you find some comfort here."

That was hard to type.

I know I've complained about my mother in the past, and goodness knows we didn't always get along. But she was my mom, and despite the fact that we didn't always see eye to eye (who does, really?), I loved her very much. I know she suffered at the end - the excruciating headache, the loss of the ability to see and understand, the knowledge that you can no longer control yourself, the eventual rupture of the aneurysm in her brain that relieved her pain - and took her life. That makes me ache for her. There's nothing like seeing someone you love lying on a hospital bed, unresponsive and vulnerable, to make you realize how much they mean to you. How silly your spats were. How ridiculous it was that you argued with and hung up on her during your very last phone call.

That...is hard to live with.

Then, as the beginning strains of "Angel" came through the speakers, I drove past a white Chevy Impala. That is the same kind of car Tnk was driving the night the drunk hit her. It's the same car that slammed her up against the truck she'd pulled over. It's the same car that very nearly took her life.

All those memories came rushing back - the 2:00 a.m. phone call that told us she'd been LifeFlighted to the hospital. How hurt she was. How scared we were, and how scared she was. How vulnerable and small she looked in that hospital bed. How close - thisclose, thisdamnedclose - we came to losing her. I felt the tears flowing freely down my face, and I prayed at the same time that the kids wouldn't notice mommy crying.

As I am, again, now.

WEDNESDAY

Today was the kids' first day off school for Christmas break. (The district calls it "Holiday Break"; I call that "BS.") Anyway, we spent the day at T (a.k.a. SDad) & J's watching movies and hanging out. I took J to Walgreen's because there was something she wanted to buy for T. I was sad that I didn't have my handy-dandy coupon organizer with me, because I saw some GREAT stuff on sale. Walgreen's even has Bionicle figures on sale for 3/$11.98. That's less than four bucks each, which is about half the price Target charges for the same toys. The kids heard about that and now they want me to take them to Walgreen's in the morning. Darn, another trip to Walgreen's...however shall I survive?

Tonight I made Robin's Peppermint Bark. Oh. My. Gosh. That stuff is SO good and addicting! I will definitely be breaking it up and portioning it out to give to other people so that I don't eat the whole thing! Robin, promise me you won't give me your mint cookie recipe. Promise!

Right now, hubby is playing Metroid 2 (an XBox game that I totally don't understand); the boys are upstairs playing Bionicle; Pey is watching hubby play the game; and I'm on the computer (duh). I still have what feels like twenty seven thousand gifts to wrap, but I'm a successful procrastinator. It'll get done. I just hope it happens before Christmas Eve.

TUESDAY

Today I spent the day running errands and getting hubby's Christmas gifts ready. Unfortunately, I cannot say more about that right now because hubby reads my blog and would definitely figure out what I've gotten for him.

Tonight we watched "Hitch," starring Will Smith. It was a fun movie, and I do recommend it to anyone who wants something mindless and entertaining to watch. Hubby even enjoyed it, which is rare since he's not a mindless-comedy kind of guy.

Next on our list of movies to watch include: Pirates of the Caribbean II, Superman Returns, The Pacifier, Surviving Christmas, and Walk the Line. All of which I've borrowed from SDad and J's (his girlfriend/significant other) stash. They own almost any movie you can think of, and every Tuesday you can find them at Wal-Mart buying the new releases. And they are more than happy to loan them out to us for free. Better than Netflix! Which we dropped earlier this month, anyway.

What movies are on your watch list?

MONDAY

Today I ran a bunch of errands, including my very least favorite: going to the post office. (Fish, there's more than one reason I jumped the coupon train... :)

I stood in line for about half an hour at the post office just to use the scale. I didn't need a "real" worker; just the scale. Some numbnuts decided they'd take the easy way out and brought their 57 packages to mail - on the scale. The scale can only handle one item at a time, and it slowly prints everything out, then it slowly scans your credit card (apparently credit card systems are on nuclear overload this time of year)... Aggravating.

Then this genius beyotch comes up to mail a large package. She crammed it into the mail slot, raised the handle - and got it stuck. The slot wouldn't open again despite the heroic efforts of two civilians and three postal employees. One of the workers finally had to go to the back and bring out a rolling cart for the rest of us to put our packages in. I just hope they kept an eye on it constantly so that some other numbnut wouldn't be able to walk in and steal something.

My hat is off to you, USPS. I sure as hell wouldn't want your job this time of year. Or ever. Merry Christmas!

IT FEELS LIKE JUNE

This weather is nuts. At my house today, the thermometer hit eighty-three freaking degrees. It's December, for goodness sake. Where is my snow? Heck, at this point, I'd settle for "where is my cool breeze?" Pez, I feel for you and the Arctic temps you've recently encountered...want to send some of it my way?

Last night was K's guitar recital. He played "Time of Your Life" by Green Day, and "Carol of the Bells" by ... um, I dunno. K did a fantastic job on both songs, and I honestly could not be prouder. Oh, and the programs (done by moi) were also a hit. Although not so much a hit as the musicians, but I'll get there one day.

Today the family went to see "Eragon." The Houston Chronicle panned the flick, but it was actually pretty good. Even I enjoyed it, and I'm not much of a fantasy-movie type girl. ("Willow" and "Star Wars" the lone exceptions.) The only part that was kind of grisly was when the evil sorcerer was made up to look uber-gross, but if you point out that it's like a Halloween mask, most kids will get over it. Or you could do like hubby and say, "Boy, he needs some Chapstick!" That made me laugh and forget that the dude looked like Satan - I actually started feeling bad for the actor because it really did look like his lips had just spent an hour exposed to the cold air while he was skiing in Colorado.

Everyone is telling me they're hungry, so I guess I'll sign off for now. Wishing you all a good week and plenty of Chapstick. Ciao!

BUSY BUSY BUSY

Lots to do today...

1. Type up the program for K's guitar recital tomorrow night. I volunteered for this job because the programs from the last recital were very sad. Picture this - an 8 1/2 x 11" piece of white paper, all names typed in a rather large Times New Roman font, several misspelled names ("Go Tell Aunt Rhody" does not have an "e" in Rhody), misaligned tab stops (ooh, that is a pet peeve of mine), and the crowning touch: an old piece of clip art, which had been cut out of something else and taped onto the first draft before the copies were made. It was very 1982, let me tell you. I'm bringing the guitar programs into the new millenium. What a trendsetter I am! Who knew?

2. Take said programs to Office Depot and have 30 copies made. I really want to do color copies, but we shall see how much that costs first.

3. Use my Bath & Body Works coupon before it expires tomorrow. This is a "buy anything, get something free" coupon, so I plan to purchase a little gift bag for two bucks and get a $12 bottle of lotion for free to put in it. I love me a good coupon.

4. Mount Laundry, which will soon erupt if I do not get my bohonkus in there and shovel it down a bit.

5. Look up spelling of "bohonkus."

6. Continue wrapping Christmas gifts, but make sure to note what I've bought already before I wrap it. I've been shopping for months, and as such I'm sure there's some stuff in there that I've forgotten about.

7. Touch base with Tnk. Since her partner quit, I am constantly worried about her. I just need to make sure she made it home safely.

8. Go to the store and buy some bread already! Geez, we've been out all week.

9. Get off the computer and get busy.

SECOND ROUND

That's how far Pey made it in the spelling bee yesterday. She ended up in about 11th place out of the whole school, which is pretty darn good for a 3rd grader if you ask me. I might be biased, being her mom and all, but I think she did a fantastic job.

The word that got her - which she will never, ever forget; trust me - was "panic." She spelled it correctly, but then put a "k" on the end. Had the word been "panicking," she'd have been on the right track.

She was a very good sport about the whole thing, and I couldn't be prouder of her.

Way to go, Pey. I love you, babe.

COULD YOU USE THAT IN A SENTENCE?

The legacy lives on...

Like her mom before her (not to brag, but I was spelling bee champion ten out of 12 years through school - this might explain my anal retentiveness in the spelling department, lol), today Pey is competing in the school spelling bee. Not to be cliché, but in this case, it is an honor to even be nominated. She was selected as one of the top seven spellers in the whole 3rd grade, and as such is eligible to compete in the school-wide bee.

I am so proud.

The competition starts at 9:00 a.m. CST, so y'all send a plethora of good thoughts this way, okay?

CHILLIN'

Actually, that should say "Illin'" because I have been really sick. Fortunately, I'm getting better now - still congested and coughy (coffee? lol, I crack myself up) but at least I have more energy.

Last Thursday, as I was getting ready for the Christmas party, I was so fatigued that every activity caused me to have to lie down and rest. Even painting my nails wore me out - I had to stop and close my eyes after each hand. Even after my bath, which should by definition be relaxing, I had to flop down on the sofa to try and make the world stop spinning. No fun, lemme tell ya.

The party itself was nice. It was held on the 43rd floor of a downtown Houston office building. The views were spectacular, the decor was elegant, the bar was open (!), and the food was delicious. Or so I was told. With all the congestion running amok in my head, I have not tasted a thing since last Wednesday.

Hubby and I got to the party at 7:00, and left at 8:45. We are so lame. Actually, we're not that lame, but I was not feeling well. Plus, since dh had to work the next day (who gives a big party on a THURSDAY???), we thought it would be a good time to go. My MIL, who was babysitting, was quite surprised to see us walk in the door so early. I barely made it to bed before passing out.

But as usual when one is sick, one does not sleep the whole night through. I have not gotten more than 4 hours of sleep at any one time in nearly a week, and I am exhausted. It's like having a newborn baby all over again, only without the good-smelling cuddles.

Eh, I can't smell anything anyway.

YEP, I'M SICK

I woke up at 2:17 this morning with a very sore throat. My nose was also "stucked up" (as little Pey used to call it), but the throat burned on all cylinders. Ouch.

I wearily made my way downstairs, took some Sudafed, and popped a throat lozenge - then realized it would probably be dangerous to go back to bed with a quarter-size blob in my mouth. So I propped up on the sofa and turned on the TV. Middle of the night is the best time to catch old movies on American Movie Classics, by the way, especially if you're hoping to fall asleep. The reason for this is that AMC doesn't have commercial breaks, so the volume stays pretty consistent. I saw most of two movies: one 1940s flick with Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire, and one painfully boring movie with Lucille Ball, which was apparently made before she found her comedic niche.

Unfortunately, I never did fall asleep. The Sudafed unclogged my nose all right - then made me start sneezing. It's very hard to doze off with a constant stream of - uh, you know - heading out your nasal passages.

So here I sit, almost 13 hours later. I'm still congested and/or sneezy, but my throat doesn't hurt much. That is a blessing in itself. I'm all dressed up for tonight already, with the exception of my house slippers, which are currently warming my cold feet. Later I'll change into my hot-mama heels, but for now, I am incredibly cozy.

I just hope I can stay awake long enough to enjoy the party. Wish me luck.

GOOD TIMING

Tomorrow night is hubby's company Christmas party (yes, Thursday; yes, weird), complete with free food and an open bar. Naturally, I'm coming down with a darned cold today. How am I supposed to look all hot and sexy with a runny nose and watery eyes?

Despite the fact that all I want to do is snuggle up on the sofa in front of the fire with a hot cup of tea, I have actually gotten some stuff accomplished today: I cleaned up the kitchen, complete with sweeping and mopping and dusting and polishing the cherry-wood table. Of course I do all this every day [ahem, cough cough], so really, no biggie.

Oh, I have also finished cooking dinner already. I made Heinz 57 Soup*, which is hearty and delicious. I'm pretty sure it will make my stuffed-up self feel much better. I do have to make some cornbread to go along with it, but that should be pretty easy.

I also put the finishing touches on the Christmas decorations. Last weekend, my MIL gave us a cute little metal scrollwork tree, about two feet tall. Today I covered it with shiny and matte gold balls and three bunches of silk poinsettias. It looked good, but I decided it needed a skirt. Not having any extra Christmas tree skirts on hand, I went to the drawers of my china cabinet and pulled out several green placemats. I spread them around and set the tree on top, and voila! The tree is now fully dressed. And it looks nice, too, if I do say so myself.

Last night the family watched "Miracle on 34th Street" (the original version with young Natalie Wood). That may be my favorite Christmas movie of all time. Wait, actually I think it's tied with "A Christmas Story," which I also love. Rudolph and Frosty and all those are good, too, but give me a good live-action holiday movie and I'm a happy girl.

So what are your favorite Christmas movies? I need to know if I'm missing any good ones!
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*Recipe for super-easy Heinz 57 soup:
1 lb lean ground beef
1 large (family-size) can vegetable soup
1 can Ranch Style Beans (optional)
1 bottle Heinz 57 sauce

Brown beef, then add rest of ingredients and heat through. Serve with jalapeno pepper slices, if you like it spicy (I will definitely be doing this!).

AN OLD SONG ONCE SAID...

"...you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself."

I'd like to know just how you do that. I am having an impossible time of trying to please anyone, much less myself. Whom, I might add, perpetually remains at the bottom of my "trying to please" list.

K came home from school in a pissy mood today. Attempts at finding out what was wrong or trying to help were met with grunts. Yes, this is common with teens. No, it doesn't make it any less frustrating.

And...well, I just typed out a bunch of stuff, but it makes me sound bad, so I deleted it. Plus, it did not need to be on the innernet in perpetuity. That wouldn't have been pleasing to anyone.

And so it goes.

Q & A

Today I thought I'd do a little catch-up on other posts and also on some of the comments I've received. Onward!

To Robin regarding The Grocery Game: You should DEFINITELY give GG another chance. It only costs $1.00 for the first four weeks, and I promise you you'll more than get your money back. Start here: www.thegrocerygame.com. And kiss generics goodbye! ;)

To Pez regarding the Cranium coupon: Go to Target and purchase a 10-pack of Minute Maid Kids orange juice boxes. On the outside of the package it says something like "Cranium Savings Inside." Inside the package are two $5.00-off Cranium coupons. One of them is very specific; the other says "Save $5.00 on any Cranium product (except Ziggity)." That's the one I used.

In other news:

Tnk's friend's son Trey, who was hit by a car, has been released from the hospital and sent home! He has months of rehab ahead of him, but he will survive. God is truly good.

K has still not asked Ashley for her phone number. He is incredibly shy. I just hope she doesn't break his heart without knowing she's doing it. lol

Pey is definitely over whatever bug she had the other day. As her mommy and clean-up crew, I am very thankful for that.

Ry misspelled "layette" in the school spelling bee. This is a child who could spell "acknowledgement" at four years old. I felt really bad for him. But hubby, three children later, didn't even know what a layette was, so Ry is actually ahead of the game.

Tree is loving his new police job. His hours at the moment are 6:00a to 2:00p Monday through Friday. We've all told him to forget about that - he's a rookie, and as such will soon be relegated to chasing perps in the crappiest part of town in the middle of the night and every weekend. But as his worried big sister, I like his current hours much better.

Tnk is about as fully recovered as she will ever get. Her right thumb will never bend again, and she has nerve damage on her left hand that will forever keep it from bending fully. But she is back at work and doing a great job, and I could not be prouder of her.

EMTsis also continues to impress me. On Thanksgiving Day, when we were all at my great-grandmother's house celebrating her birthday, my aunt D fell ill. EMTsis grabbed her medic bag and checked her out, then immediately recommended that aunt D go to the ER. She went with her, and as soon as they got to the hospital, the physician put aunt D on medication to regulate her heart. She will likely have to stay on that medication for the rest of her life. EMTsis's quick action may have saved aunt D's life.
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I'm stopping there because once again I'm starting to feel like a failure. (I am not posting this for sympathy; I am just documenting my thoughts.) The other night at Tree's graduation, Tnk was in her police uniform, Tree was in his, and EMTsis was in her EMT uniform. Tnk's partner even came to the graduation, and he too was in uniform. I stick out like a sore thumb in all the pictures. The other night I told hubby I'd start looking for a job to bring in some extra money, but even that feels like I'm failing my children and my family. At 39 years old, it's time I found purpose and direction for my life. So far, I have accomplished what feels like nothing.

Okay, I'm stopping there. I mean it this time. :)

HELLO, DECEMBER

And greetings, winter weather. I have missed you so.

This morning I bundled up in my warmest jacket and braved the crowds at Tarjay to do some grocery shopping. Bonus: I met a fellow Grocery Gamer today! Her name is Erin and we met over the Kraft mac & cheese aisle. That was cool.

Anyway, typically Kroger is much cheaper on groceries, particularly because they double and triple coupons. However, from time to time Target.com has excellent, stackable coupons on their website, so I was able to score lots of good food (and a Christmas gift, too) for a really low price.

Here's a breakdown:

• Cranium Cadoo game (originally $14.99; on sale for $7.49; I had $5.00-off coupon) = $2.49
• 4 packages of Nestle chocolate chips (originally $1.99; I had two stacked coupons for each one equalling 90-cents off each) = $1.09 x 4
• 5 boxes of Kraft mac & cheese (originally .82/box; on sale for .60/box; I had coupons for .50 off each) = $.10 x 5
• 2 containers of Daisy sour cream (originally .92/container; I had coupons for .50 off each) = $.42 x 2
• 2 packages of dairy-sliced cheese - Monterey jack & provolone (1/4 lb. at $1.25 and $1.35 respectively; I had coupons for $1.00 off each) = $.25 + $.35
• 2 packages beef steaks, 6 per package (each just over $5; $2.00 coupon on package, plus $2.00 coupon from website) = approx. $1.00 per package
• 2 lbs. 93/7 lean ground beef ($3.49/lb.; I had two coupons for $1.25 off each pound) = $2.24 x 2
• 1 package taco shells (1.29; I had coupons for $1.00 off each) = $.29
• 2 packages flour tortillas (1.49; I had coupons for $1.00 off each) = $.49 x 2
• 1 package frozen waffles ($1.52; I had coupon for .50 off) = $1.02
• 1 package frozen meatballs ($5.99; I had no coupon, but these are a dollar cheaper than at Kroger - does that count?) = $5.99
• 5 cans diced tomatoes (.49/can; I had coupons for $1.00 off each) = they paid ME $.51 x 5
• 2 cans Mexican-style tomatoes (.89/can; I had coupons for $1.00 off each) = they paid ME $.11 x 2
  

Grand total before coupons: $56.29
Grand total after coupons: $21.19

I bought thirty items and paid just over $21 - which includes the game. And as we all know, games are typically really expensive.

My coupon savings equaled $35.10 ... Even the cashier was impressed. heehee

The Cadoo game is going to be a Christmas gift. I love getting good gifts so inexpensively. And needless to say, I am also loving Target! :)

How's your December shopping coming along?