FAILURE

Don't you hate feeling like a failure? That's how I've been feeling the past couple of days. Although I can point to several reasons why I feel that way, I really can't put my finger on the main issue. Maybe if I list things here, the picture will paint itself.

1. Small, I know, but I've failed to update my blog every day this month. That was such a small goal, yet I didn't accomplish it. I have no excuse, as I have been home every day and had computer time every day.

2. Yesterday I was ready to take the kids back to the rock I found them under. They bickered all.day.long. Okay, not all day - there were a couple of hours of peace - but when they fight, they royally piss me off. And that "having to get the last word in" thing? OMG, I can't even explain the rage that brings out in me.

3. My 9-year-old daughter seemingly cannot entertain herself this week (which is spring break and I normally look forward to but NOT this year...anymore). She constantly hangs around me, not talking but just being there. Yesterday at 5:30 I finally told her to go to her room and stay there. She couldn't understand why she was being punished...and really, I couldn't either, but she was getting under my skin and I needed a break.

4. DH and I went to sleep facing opposite directions last night. We rarely do that, and there was really no reason. The longer I lay there, the madder I got. Thank God for sleep, because if I'd stayed awake I might have packed a bag.

5. Where the hell is all this rage coming from? I can't even blame it on PMS, as certain regions of my body are NOT sore (and they always are at that time of the month).

Thus the feeling of failure kicks in. And that pisses me off, too. Why am I calling myself a failure?

Maybe I'm just mad. I sure would like a reason, though, so I could work on it. I hate feeling this way.