You are not alone. I despair over things all the time. Sometimes I get so depressed that I resent the sun rising in the morning. I feel like a complete failure because (a) I have quit school, (b) I have lost the will to attend church, (c) I need to lose weight, (d) I bitch about things that don't matter, (e) all of the above, every.single.day.
Unlike your concerns (abortion is certainly a valid one), the things I get worked up over don't matter one iota in the real world. *gasp!* Someone made a flippant remark that annoyed me! Like *I* have never done that? And so what if someone left a mess behind when they left my house? If I wanted perfection all the time, I'd never open the damn door. I'd also get rid of my spouse, kids, and dog, which is not likely to happen, and I'm not sure cleanliness would be a good trade-off anyway.
What is my problem?
I live in a beautiful home, I have beautiful children, and I have an awesome family (including my in-laws; go figure). My biological father is a bit of a question mark, but I'd better not get into that here ... for many reasons. Anyway, big picture: I should spend my days counting my blessings, not complaining about everything else.
And I can assure you, that will never happen.
Whatever my problem is, I may never know. But I want you to know this, Most Evil One: you are NOT alone.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
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