PAPS ARE JUST AS MUCH FUN AS I REMEMBERED
Today I went for the first female checkup I've had since Clinton was in office. Fortunately, my doctor is the nicest person ever to scrape my cervix.
Dr. M did not judge me for waiting so long between appointments, which I really appreciated. Her comment was, "you're here now; that's what's important." She apologized for having cold hands during my breast exam, then again for taking 20 seconds to finish the pap smear and HPV test. Doc, I completely forgive you.
The urinalysis results showed that I have an infection, about which I was completely unaware. Therefore, I have a prescription to fill for antibiotics. Whee, orange pee, here I come.
The tactile breast exam showed two lumps in my left breast, and one in my right. The doctor said she's truly not concerned, yet she scheduled me for a mammogram next Monday. Now, I'm pushing 40, so I was going to have a baseline done this year anyway, but on the order form for the mammogram, she didn't check the "routine screening/asymptomatic" box. Instead, the scarier "diagnostic imaging/consultation" box is checked. She also asks, under "Additional Services," for a "breast ultrasound" of both breasts.
What freaks me out the most is that she drew in little masses on the preprinted breast diagram. Yep, two on the left; one on the right. Check.
After my exam, I was sent in for bloodwork. I had a feeling they'd go ahead and order blood screens today, so in preparation, I did not eat beforehand. In fact, I hadn't eaten since 6:30 last night, so by this time (11:15ish a.m.) I was feeling kinda weak. Somehow, the blood draw didn't seem to help that feeling.
I stopped for a baked potato on the way home because I was starving, but when I got here, I was only able to finish half of it. I'm actually feeling sick right now, and I've got a mother of a headache brewing. I can't get comfortable, which is really frustrating.
On the up side, I've lost six pounds since the last time I saw Dr. M. She made my day by saying, "yeah, like you needed to lose weight." Told you she was sweet.
