WHY DO I FIND IT HARD TO WRITE THE NEXT LINE?
Oh I want the truth to be saaaaiiiid...

(I love Spandau Ballet. There, I said it.)

Today was crazy-busy at work. Gary is in California on a business trip, so I got to man the shop all by my lonesome today. For the most part, it was a good, albeit hectic, day. But there was this one real character, for lack of a better word, who now holds the title for being the first customer to insult me to my face since I've become manager.

I feel so validated.

So there I was, trying to do everything, as usual, when Numbnuts waltzes in. (To paint a picture: NN is a 50ish heavyset man with glasses and a false-to-the-point-of-being-obnoxious-sunny disposition. I have never seen him before in my life; he does not know me at all.) Fourteen other people are in the store at the time (I counted), and in between simultaneously answering their questions and ringing up their purchases and trying to list a bunch of items online this morning, Pley is a very busy girl - not at all upset; just busy.

Numbnuts sashays up to the counter and says to me, "Smile! It can't be that bad!"

I did not look up from my computer screen, but smirked in his general direction. Maybe not very professional of me, but man I hate when people insist that other people smile.

NN continues to walk around the store, picking up little glass trinket boxes and plunking each of them on the counter, as if he were the only person in the store and the counter was exclusively reserved for his stuff. He picked out nine things, and with each item he brought to the counter, he continued to urge me to "Smile!" "Come on, smile!" "Aww, just a little smile?"

Cue me picking up my imaginary .22 and aiming it at his head.

At this point I'm ignoring the guy because I'm becoming angrier with each passing moment. He walked away again, this time to the end of the counter where we keep a display of glass flowers. I hear him say "Hey!" and I turn to look. He pretends to throw a glass flower at my head. When I recoiled in surprise, he said, "Oh come on, that didn't make you smile? That was funny!"

Too shocked to respond, I just ignored him.

He finally came to the counter to pay for his purchases, and I asked him if that was all. He said, "Yes, except for that smile. Can't I get just one?"

In a quiet voice but no doubt with a touch of anger, told him that one of my biggest pet peeves was when people insist other people "just smile," and that it was none of his business, and that he didn't even know me so how dare he insist I do anything.

That shut him up.

When I finished ringing up his purchases and wrapping all that damned glass, he took his bags and started to walk away. He stopped a few feet away and this exchange occurred:

NN - "You know, everyone has pet peeves."
Me - "Yes, I realize that."
NN - "One of mine is people who are blunt and rude."
Me - "Oh really. Well, you're welcome to leave now."

And he did. A lady standing next to the counter said it was all she could do not to applaud. She said she completely agreed with me and that she thought I had a lot of patience.

Of course, she didn't know I'd already fired my imaginary .22 through NN's fat head.