MISSING DH

Hubby has safely made it to Portland, Oregon, where he will be until Friday afternoon. He's been on business trips before, but I was so sad yesterday when I thought about being here without him this week. I guess it says something good about our marriage that I still get teary-eyed when he travels - and we've been married for almost seventeen years.

In our early marriage, hubby was in the navy. We were stationed on Homestead AFB, Florida, for two years. He had one major deployment during that time, and since we didn't have children at the time, when he left on the aircraft carrier, I flew back to Texas to spend time with my family. Sure, I missed him, but for some reason it didn't seem as hard to be apart at that time as it does now. And that separation was for much longer than the five days he's gone this time.

Maybe I'm becoming more sentimental as I get older. Maybe I'm having a premonition about something happening while he's away. Maybe the stupid terrorists have made me afraid of any kind of travel or separation (that doesn't mean they've "won," does it?). My money is on the "sentimental" idea. At least, I pray to God that's it.

Last night I did not sleep well, which is not surprising because I never do when dh is away, but on top of that, I had nightmares. In one, I was picking Pey up from a daycare located inside a shopping mall (never would do that in real life) and was accosted as I walked to my van. The guy waited while I put Pey into her carseat, then got into the van with me, all the while I'm screaming for help. A police officer finally came over, but he said that he wouldn't help because I had obviously let the man into my van of my own accord.

I am not sure if the dream means that I'm worried about being alone with the kids, or if it means that I don't trust cops, or if it means that I'm paranoid about malls and their parking lots. In any event, I was very happy to wake up this morning.

Honey, be safe on your trip. I can't wait to see you on Friday. I love you.